Allie. 22.
Fuck bitches get money.

 

liftedandgiftedd:

captain-awesomeee:

girl-youakiller:

yogihoagie:

I will reblog this every fucking time.

i would run to this desk in school man, just imagine being stoned and looking at all your childhood shows just wow

This desk. All my childhood programs 

this deserves to be framed

liftedandgiftedd:

captain-awesomeee:

girl-youakiller:

yogihoagie:

I will reblog this every fucking time.

i would run to this desk in school man, just imagine being stoned and looking at all your childhood shows just wow

This desk. All my childhood programs 

this deserves to be framed

(Source: 12peachroses)

makochantachibanana:

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

when i was little i was playing hide and seek with my mom and she was THIS close to calling the cops because she couldn’t find and thought i went missing

thempress:

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

pulpfanfiction:


nayx:

Print it.  Fuck it.

am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused

pulpfanfiction:

nayx:

Print it.  Fuck it.

am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused

dietcrush:

my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years

meatbicyclevevo:

thetowndrugdealer:

precumming:

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

tristianmakhai:

curryuku:

bokuwaaru:

cookiesincoffeecans:

ungratefullittleshit:

Creativity

Lazyness

Creativity 

Life Hacks

Laziness is the mother of all invention is how the saying goes, I think.  Either way, the end result is the same: fucking ingenious.

unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

i read this, didn’t see anything wrong with it, and scrolled. then realized why it was wrong…

thats-slightly-raven:

feistie:

thats-slightly-raven:

I JUST BURNT MY HAND ON MY LAMP TRYING TO TURN IT OFF LAMPS SHOULD NOT BE HOT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THIRD DEGREE BURNS THIS IS BULLSHIT.

maybe if you’d go outside and used natural sunlight instead of running your lamp for 13 hours straight, this wouldn’t happen :)

OH I’M SORRY IT’S 3:38AM LET ME JUST WAKE UP THE SUN SO I CAN SIT OUTSIDE WITH MY SKINLESS BURNT HAND AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF NATURAL DAYLIGHT.